God Prepares To Issue Landmark Ruling In Ginsburg v. Death
God, the creator of heaven and Earth, is preparing to hear final arguments from Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the Angel of Death, sources say. Ginsburg sent Washington into a frenzy today as news spread that the 86 year old jurist is now in battling cancer once more and appealing to a higher power. With the shape of the Supreme Court hanging in the balance, Ginsburg v. Death could prove to be one of the most significant cases in recent years according to legal analysts and theologians covering the matter. Earlier today, the celestial deity and final judge of men and their deeds instructed Ginsburg to “come to the light” before granting a request for a short recess, sources say. Referred to by young admirers as “the Notorious RBG,” Ginsberg is considered by all to be a sharp legal mind and liberal stalwart on the bench. Nevertheless, the opposing counsel Death is considered by scholars to be an implacable adversary and invincible trial attorney with a 107,000,000,000 - 0 track record. While politicians on the hill follow developments in this case, many close to the legal profession could not care less. “It is better to reign in hell than serve in heaven” bellowed a chiseled Merrick Garland from the depths of hell surrounded by his army of demons.