50,000 Trained Gymnasts Undertake Mass Games To Honor President Trump On Independence Day

50,000 Trained Gymnasts Undertake Mass Games To Honor President Trump On Independence Day

As America Celebrates The 4th of July, Washington D.C. is roiled in controversy as tanks roll down Pennsylvania Avenue in a parade meant to showcase the nation’s military might. President Trump, perhaps inspired by a Bastille Day procession during his state visit to France last year, sparked outcry by calling for similar celebrations in the capital. The suggestion has raised fears from some generals concerning the politicization of the military and has raised eyebrows among liberal commentators who have been quick to note the President’s authoritarian proclivities and admiration for strongmen around the world. Such concerns only increased following Trump’s historic visit to North Korea and meeting with Kim Jung Un where the chief executive witnessed the authoritarian regime’s sprawling Socialist Realist “Mass games” which features tens of thousands of highly-trained, specially selected gymnasts performing highly sophisticated choreographed displays to honor the Dear Leader. “Tremendous,” Mr. Trump is reported to have told the North Korean Leader, “We really should have something like that in America”.

While Pentagon officials have acquiesced to Trump’s demands to hold a military parade on July 4th, commanders and officials at the Defense Department initially balked at the suggestion of rounding up some 50,000 trained gymnasts in time for the celebration. Nevertheless, Rear Admiral William Hagan told reporters that authority rests with the commander-in-chief and the mass games will go on as scheduled. At press time, tens of thousands of nubile, fanatically loyal, young athletes simultaneously rotated their multicolored placards to form a gigantic kaleidoscopic image of Trump’s book “The Art Of The Deal” while singing the O’Jays hit tune “For the Love of Money”.

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