Opinion: If Democrats Are Serious About Winning In 2020 They Need To Nominate Jeffrey Epstein

Opinion: If Democrats Are Serious About Winning In 2020 They Need To Nominate Jeffrey Epstein

As the race for the 2020 Democratic nomination heats up, division within the party shows no signs of abating. For too long I’ve watched fellow democrats bicker among themselves and lose sight of the real mission: defeating the Cheeto-in-chief. Enough is enough! Stop bickering! It’s time for progressives of all stripes to come together and unite behind a standard bearer who has the best shot at defeating Trump. If patriotic Americans concerned about the rule law are serious about saving the country, they have to fall in line and nominate Jeffrey Epstein.

Now I know the far left within the party is going to take this as heresy, but it’s simply a fact that to win the White House Democrats need to win over moderates like me whose views are more in sync with those of the electorate. If you ask them, most Americans will tell you they are somewhere in the middle. Election after election shows that centrist candidates are more electable because they are pragmatic and don’t just promise free stuff. Sure, I’d love to see a Buttigieg or Harris presidency as much as the next, but folks, their poll numbers just aren’t cutting it. Therefore, after giving this long and careful thought; it has to be Epstein.

I don’t like him anymore than you do. We can all agree that Mr. Epstein committed monstrous, unconscionable acts. No one is disputing that. However, we also must recognize that this could very well be the most important election of our lives. With a criminal in the White House all our other priorities must be subordinated to the objective of a democratic victory and Epstein, the “pimp to the powerful” has a lot going for him. Not only was Epstein’s private sex island located in Florida (a crucial swing state), but he has also proven himself a formidable fundraiser. Given the cost of presidential elections we already know that we need someone who can raise enough money to outspend the Republicans. Epstein certainly fits the bill having been described by a US attorney investigating the matter as a man of “limitless means”. 

As a top-ranking Democratic Party strategist, I don’t normally walk in the same circles of Mr. Epstein. In a given year I would say that the two of us only cross paths a few dozen times. Sure, we have spoken here and there at the occasional masquerade ball or soirée in Manhattan, the Harvard alumni dinner and the annual sack race at the Council on Foreign Relations, but I wouldn’t say we are on a first name basis. Even though we play croquet every Sunday and are team-mates at the racquet ball club, to tell the you truth I can’t stand the man. Nevertheless, there is one thing I do know: Mr. Epstein is a skilled operative. Whatever you may think about the influence of big money on politics, you have to play the game and Mr. Epstein knows how to play. 

Politics is a dirty business and no one knows that better than America’s most famous cradle snatcher. Whether you’re a Republican or Democrat, you know that gridlock is tearing our country apart. The next president will have to navigate this system and get things done, which will be easy for a seasoned Machiavel like Epstein. Need to raise the debt ceiling? Done. Pass an appropriations bill? Presto. Epstein has a dossier containing damning and incriminating evidence on practically every major public figure in America and that’s a huge advantage when it comes to political horse-trading. What’s more, no one is more committed to bipartisanship than Epstein.  I long for the days when Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill could remain close friends despite their differences and refreshingly Epstein has close friends among the leaders of both major parties. I don’t know about you, but I think our country is riven and needs to heal. No one is better to bring the two parties together than Mr. Epstein.

Now I know that certain starry-eyed idealists and “Bernie bros” will say we shouldn’t nominate the ringleader of an international sex trafficking network to be the Democratic nominee. They’re living in the clouds. It’s time to be grownups, people. It’s time to put aside our differences and here I applaud the “Never Trump Republicans”. They quite rightly recognize that Trump is an abomination, but if we are to secure their support, we can’t afford to nominate some left-wing firebrand. David Frum in a very eloquent piece in the Atlantic has already maintained that he will be forced to vote for Trump in the event Democrats don’t nominate Epstein. As a progressive, I’m forced to agree with him. I can only pray that the Democratic Party rank and file comes to its senses and nominates Epstein. I also pray that my name does not surface in this investigation.

DOJ Appoints Alan Dershowitz To Investigate Death Of Jeffrey Epstein

DOJ Appoints Alan Dershowitz To Investigate Death Of Jeffrey Epstein

50,000 Trained Gymnasts Undertake Mass Games To Honor President Trump On Independence Day

50,000 Trained Gymnasts Undertake Mass Games To Honor President Trump On Independence Day