Road To The White House 2020: Biden Team Spends Millions On Sophisticated Cloaking Device
While presidential hopefuls attended California’s annual Democratic convention, one contender was conspicuously absent: Joe Biden. In an apparent snub to grassroots activists, the current front-runner, was nowhere to be seen, leading some to speculate that the former vice president is following a “Rose Garden strategy” and coasting on his name recognition and positive association with President Obama. Others suggest that Biden is hiding from voters due to his long record of positions now considered unpopular among liberals. Shirley Wilkinson, an organizer from Oakland and convention attendee voiced such concerns yesterday.
“It’s obvious that the more Joe Biden speaks, the more he will alienate democrats. Not only has Biden learned nothing when it comes to his inappropriate behavior around women, but he also refuses to atone for the destructive policies he pushed throughout his career. We won’t forget that he opposed school busing and that he authored the horrendous 1994 crime bill, nor we will forget that he voted for the Patriot act and the Iraq War. How can we ever forget his efforts to deregulate banks which ultimately led to the financial crisis. There’s a reason Joe Biden didn’t want to show his face here”.
Such charges were vehemently rejected by the Biden camp, however. TJ Ducklo, Biden’s communications director refuted this claim and posited that the vice president had indeed attended the convention, but was not visible because he was using a space-age multi-million dollar cloaking device. “Biden is a just your average Joe,” Ducklo told reporters, “he rode the Amtrack home every weekend when he was a senator in DC! The vice-president supports passionate, committed activists in the party, but he doesn’t like to make a big fuss about it and show his face. That’s why the vice-president will be meeting with wealthy donors in the Hollywood Hills this week in the hopes of securing funds for the cloaking-device which is still highly unstable and in an experimental phase”. Duckler added that the Biden teams expects the device to be compatible with the vice-president’s warp drive by the time of the Iowa Caucus.