Girl Power! Theresa May Proves That Women Are Just As Good As Men When It Comes To Dooming Their Own Countries
The eyes of the world turned to the UK this week as British Prime Minister Theresa May announced her resignation. Choking back tears, May bid farewell to 10 downing street in an address that is sure to evoke sympathy from even her most fervent opponents. Describing “the enormous and enduring gratitude to have had the opportunity to serve the country I love,” May appeared to break down as she was overcome with emotion. While her predecessor David Cameron doomed Britain forever by calling for the ill-conceived Brexit referendum, May in her 3-year premiership further paved the way to perdition, thus proving that women are just as capable as men of destroying their own countries through inept statecraft. You go girl!
Indeed, if the Spice girls are hiring they should look no further than Mama T because what our limey cousins just witnessed was a master class in Girl Power. We already know she can dance as we saw at the 2018 Conservative Party Conference, but May took Girl Power to a whole new level when she outdid Cameron in ineptitude while coarsening political discourse and leaving the country more riven than before. Indeed, May did to Britain what Cameron is rumored to have done to a pig as part of a hazing ritual for the Piers Gaveston Society at Oxford. Over the course of a roller coaster of an administration testing whether western liberal democracy can long endure, we got to witness May ratchet up racist anti-migrant rhetoric, call for an election that would have effectively turned Britain into a one-party state, lose that election, ally with snake-handling Protestant sectarians in Northern Ireland thus threatening to reignite the Troubles, appoint a buffoonish foreign secretary who antagonized EU partners and fail to secure a Brexit deal as the clock ticks on article 50. Theresa May? More like “Theresa Slay Queen!”
But perhaps May’s legacy on the omnishambles that is Brexit will be surpassed by her social agenda. Upon assuming office May pledged to combat “burning injustices,” but went on to oversee the biggest spike in child poverty in three decades. Symbolic of a decaying social order, the Grenfell Tower went up in flames leaving 72 dead. In this respect, May was an apt successor to epic Girl Boss Margaret Thatcher who first broke the glass ceiling in Britain as the first female Prime minister. A trailblazer, Thatcher was the first female to doom Britain and set the foundations for the post-industrial hellscape Britain has become. Who can forget how Thatcher performed the most epic of clap backs when she crushed mediocre white male coal-miners and their dreams of living with anything resembling dignity. While May had big shoes to fill in carrying out Thatcher’s legacy, it is clear the departing Prime Minister did the Iron Maiden justice by inching her country closer to apocalypse. Now that’s what I call empowerment.