PBS Releases New 20 Part Documentary "Ken Burns Ass"

PBS Releases New 20 Part Documentary "Ken Burns Ass"

The Corporation for Public Broadcasting along with the John D. and Katharine T. McArthur Foundation has announced that acclaimed filmmaker Ken Burns has completed his new 20 part documentary series entitled Ass. Premiering this summer on PBS, Ken Burns Ass will document the vital role the ass has played in America from its inception to the present day. “It’s a deeply personal film for me” Burns said in his New Hampshire residence “It’s my love letter to the ass”.

Using the so-called “Ken Burns affect” of zooming and panning across still images of over 16,000 round, perfectly formed asses, the documentary will provide an engaging narrative of the social, political and cultural aspects of the ass through the skilled narration of David McCullough. Noted historians, Robert Caro, Shelby Foote, Eric Foner and Barbara Fields will contribute insights and anecdotes on the ass and what makes it so great.

“Of course the founders were ass men! After all, isn’t the Declaration of Independence dedicated to the proposition of ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of ass?” McCullough observed before launching unprompted into a monomaniacal discourse on the beauty of asses and the kinds of things he would like to do with them in graphic and disgusting language we cannot reproduce here.

“If you ask me, the ass is a metaphor for America. Proud, firm, optimistic; I could go on for hours” Burns enthused. The filmmaker confessed to having an almost unhealthy obsession with the ass and spent long hours away from his family, alone in his study pouring over images upon images of asses in what he has referred to as “painstaking research”. “The deeper and deeper I got into it, the more stimulating I found the subject” Burns said before announcing that he had to go to the bathroom for five minutes.

Of particular interest to viewers will be Burns’ installment on the tumultuous decade of the 1960s covering such subjects as the Kennedy assassination, the civil rights movement, the Vietnam war, the failure of the Great Society reforms, the ass and the breakdown of the post-war liberal consensus. “Ken Burns Ass is a life-saver,” says Molly Pennysworth, a middle school teacher in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. “I often show it to my students on a rainy day. Ken Burns is such a good storyteller, but nevertheless my kids have a hard time concentrating. They aren’t focusing on ass like they should be. I blame video games”.

But while Ken Burns Ass is sure to garner praise from history buffs and educators across the country, the filmmaker has also provoked controversy. In much the same way that “Jazz” drew the ire of critics for glossing over Post Bebop innovations in American music, “Ass” has also drawn criticism for episode 18 entitled “White Bitches Ain’t Got No Ass”. 

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