ANALYSIS: Trump Runs Risk of Impeachment, Velour Fetishists Say
San Bernardino, CA
In the past two days President Trump has fueled speculation over the legality of his decision to fire FBI director James Comey. Earlier today Trump suggested via Twitter that he possesses “tapes” of private conversations of Comey leading to demands from Senate Democrats that he produce this evidence. The drama unfolding in the White House has evoked memories of the Watergate scandal that brought down the Nixon presidency. The events of the last few days have raised concerned among media analysts and calls for impeachment in the Southern Californian velour fetish community.
“It all started about 10 years ago when my wife and I would go to S&M clubs together”, said Tom Harding a velour fetishist in San Bernardino. “After awhile we started to notice that other people liked to be dominated with velour, so we started making digital videos and that’s how velourkink.com was born”. When asked about the recent Comey imbroglio, Harding, dressed in a bonnet and velour diaper, responded, “It’s straight up Nixonian!”
Tom Harding is not alone. President Trump’s apparent disregard for the rule of law has sent shockwaves throughout the velour fetish community. Donna Lisiewicz CEO of the rival velour fetish website velourhumiliation.com expressed concerns about the President’s potential conflicts of interest. After filming a video entitled “Extreme Velour Humiliation” Lisiewicz opined “Firing Comey at this time to me is just plain fishy. After all, the next day he met with the Russian ambassador. What’s that about? Let’s not forget, he never released his tax returns. We have no way of knowing what deals he has with the Russians.”
As the scandal continues to develop, velour fetishists remain worried about possible erosion of democratic norms. Peter Nolan a San Bernardino “velour play” enthusiast called his representative this morning urging him to investigate the President. “Unless Deputy Attorney General Rosenstein appoints a special prosecutor, I won’t be able to sleep at night. I have become more active politically in light of these recent events. Normally I would prefer to stay at home and have a woman sit athwart my chest and rub velour in my face, but these are trying times for our country”.
Not all are concerned, however. Felix Shcultz, who describes himself as “apolitical” responded “I don’t care about politics. I just like to touch the velour, rub the velour against my skin and feel ashamed of myself.”